By Margaret McRae (auth.)
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Additional resources for A State of Depression
I dreaded the thought of going home. With Pat I felt safe. She was calm and understanding, and I didn't have to hide my sadness. At home I would have to try to appear happy in order not to worry my parents. On returning home I spent a lot of my time lying on the settee, listening to music. One day my car arrived. I enjoyed sitting in it and I studied all the different controls, but I wasn't able to drive on my own as I hadn't passed my test. After I'd been home a few days, Pat phoned. ' she asked.
When they returned home my father was angry in a way that I had never seen before. My brother went straight upstairs and shut himself in his bedroom. ' asked my mother anxiously. 'Don't talk to me about psychiatrists,' shouted my father. 'We were with him for five minutes. That's all. Five minutes. Alan sat there like a dummy and wouldn't say a word. He just stared in front of himself. The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, and then he said, 'There's no hope for the boy unless you get him into hospital.
I had a car which I was learning to drive, I had good friends, a comfortable home, a worthwhile job. The doctor had prescribed pills to tide me over the effects of the shock I had experienced so I could see no reason why I should be haunted by this terrible sense of dread and foreboding. It should be declining. But it wasn't. On my fourth Monday back at work I felt wretched. I sat at my desk and tried to sort out the visits for the day, but although I sifted through some records, I couldn't take anything in or make a decision about my visits.
A State of Depression by Margaret McRae (auth.)